Firsts

As the Isle of Wight waves the last few Bestival-goers off the island today, with them go the last dregs of summer. It's been grey and rainy all day and I've resigned myself that Autumn is upon us. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to welcome Autumn, it's probably my fave season of all actually, but before I do, I want to stop for a second and think back over the Summer that was. It was really a summer of firsts. Not necessarily those big, monumental firsts that fill the first year or so like first words, steps, sleeping through the night (we're well beyond all those baby milestones now. Sniff.) But lots of other things that were just as memorable. Some things I'm only just realising now were pretty monumental in their own way. Like:

• Our first potato printing experience (for both of us!) 
• The first time Arlo got stung by a bee (I was scared, he survived).
• The first time I had one of those haircuts that just seems to go right for once. For about two weeks until it grew out.
• The first time I thought to myself "maybe we COULD have another one and the world wouldn't end and we might all survive"
• The first sentence "Daddy and baby on the beesh" (he means beach, but still)
• Our first taste of the terrible twos. Tantrums and all. Some of my very lowest parenting points I would say. Punctuated by some of the best stuff ever. I guess that's how they design this parenting stuff, so we don't disown our own as soon as they turn two.
• The first time I've been genuinely happy to see a poo. Because it was in the potty of a child that isn't even really being potty trained. He just chose to do it one day in his potty. How mad is that?! I'm thinking this my be my karma for all the very many very sleepless nights.
• The first proper family holiday. More of those please.
• Our first whole night away, just the two of us. Many more of those too please. 

Many things to remember. And many more to come. Ideally more of the potato painting times and less of the tantrum times to come please, although I sense there'll be plenty of both. Autumn, we're ready for you now.

Things I'm thankful for... the weekend away edition

We did some really good weekending this weekend. It was so good I forgot to blog, or even think about blogging, one of those ones. It reminded me of all the things I'm thankful for, and in a week that's also been a bit mixed and had some not great things happen I feel like it's more important than ever to be thankful and remind myself of all that's good - for me, that list includes:

• Old friends. The really comfy ones. Where you chat, or not chat (and that feels totally OK and not-at-all-awkward) and it's easy and comforting and you remind yourself why they're such good friends and that you really bloody need them around to remind you who you are and what's important.
• Cake. Because really and truly the hunk of carrot cake pictured above saved me from a terrible hangover on Sunday and for that I am eternally grateful.
• The sun (who has since departed) for making everyone altogether more happy.
• My trusty Saltwater sandals. For going with everything and being just so comfortable that I never want to take them off because all of my other shoes all of a sudden feel just too warm and stuffy.
• Arlo's brain cells. Bear with me on this, but after a particularly difficult week, where we cursed the 'terrible twos' and wondered who'd come and swapped our usually sweet and caring boy with an irrational, tantrum-throwing goblin child, something's clicked and the Arlo we know and love is back. Not only is he happier and more rational since the weekend, he all of a sudden knows loads of new words, so I'm putting it down a developmental leap that was going on in his brain that he's now worked past. Yay for brain cells!
• Having a bit of a think. Was so interested to read this collection of thoughts from atheists sharing how they find meaning in a 'purposeless universe' - I was struck by the reoccurring themes running through them all as they listed the things that make their lives meaningful - friends, love, learning, teaching, being creative, enjoying the simple things. SO true, and all things to be thankful for. Today and every day.

HB AW

Well, another year has passed, this guy turns two years old today. We had a family get together yesterday with two cakes (one cake per year - I might regret making that a tradition as the years tick by!) and today we're off to Arlo's spiritual home, aka Peppa Pig World for a special birthday treat with just the three of us.

The trip to see Peppa et al is kicking off a week's holiday in the New Forest, our first ever trip away as a family. So if things are a little quiet around here, that's why. We'll be in a little cabin in the woods, finishing off leftover cake(s) and generally having a bit of a relax.

So Happy birthday Arlo, thanks for being the funniest and sweetest boy. I love you so much I'm willing to endure the Peppa Pig theme tune on repeat for the next six hours. That's pretty big.

A mini milestone

This week something pretty monumental happened in our world. Arlo and I went for a walk without the pushchair for the very first time. Now, I totally get that that is probably VERY boring for everyone else, but for us it's pretty big news actually. I've never felt happy taking him out for a walk without the pushchair as back up before - every time we've tried, he's not wanted to hold my hand, and tried to run off, and we've had to just turn right around and go home again because it's not felt right. These days he seems more grown up, able to understand more, and he happily held hands and chatted away while we walked up the road.

When we got to the little footpaths that take us to the park, I let go of his hand and he trotted along with his bear and his choo choo (the two favourite toys of the moment). He picked leaves and proudly showed them to all the dogs he met en route (they were fairly non-plussed). Once we got to the park, we played at rolling his choo choo down the wooden ramp that I think is meant for much more boring things like press ups and sit ups.

He kept his beloved bear under his arm the whole time - this boy has a lot of bears, all lined up in his bedroom, all lovely gifts given to us when he arrived. And the one he has chosen as his favourite? The same bear his dad (or 'Diddy', as Arlo calls him, which never fails to raise a smile from me, as I remember when Puff Daddy changed his name the first time round) had when he was a little boy. It's just the sweetest thing.

Friday I'm in love... with birthday presents

So, a certain small someone will be turning two very soon, which means presents need to happen. We don't tend to go all out with presents to be honest, as we know he's going to be very spoilt by friends and family as it is (and he's not exactly short of toys as it is), but I do want to make sure he has a couple of special things to open on the morning of the big day. I've collected together a few things I know he'll just love:

one. the boy loves duplo, and he loves animals. This would be job done.

two. I was shocked the other day to realise that we don't actually own a bucket and spade! I plan on getting a lot of beach action this summer so it's going to be an essential. And this crabby set is the cutest I've seen.

three. we've been spending lots of time in the garden lately, and next on our outdoor to do list is to start planting some flowers. Arlo has a little yellow duck-shaped watering can that he loves waddling around with, and I reckon a little trowel and fork for little hands would go down a treat

four. well OBVS we need to get a massive number 2 candle to top Arlo's cake (that I will not be making myself, seeing as I want it to be delicious)

five. books are always a winner and I've just discovered this, which is part of a series about a little elephant called Arlo. I'm coveting it just for the cover alone!

six. now, he probably doesn't need another train set, seeing as he has one already, but this is so mega cute and it comes with a giraffe and everything! I know he'd just love pootling around with this.

seven. this one might just have already been ordered and is winging its way to us now (luckily Arlo can't read) and I'm very excited to set this up and have it ready and waiting for him to discover on his bday. Arlo loves drawing and scribbling everywhere, usually on the walls, so I'm hoping to channel all that creativity and messiness into one area for maximum fun with minimum cleaning required.

"So when are you going to have another one?"

Arlo: keeping us busy since 2013.

If I'm hearing one thing a lot these days it's "so when are you going to have another one?" Waaaah! Do we HAVE to have another one? I'm not sure why everyone feels like we should be planning for baby number two but for me (for both of us actually) it's way too early. WAY. Like years way. I have the utmost respect for all parents because it's hard. And life is a bit of a tightrope as it is, and we're balancing and moving along it OK, but throw a big pregnant belly or a newborn into the mix and I think it could all come tumbling down (or at least my marbles might anyway).

For example, Arlo's learning all about the art of the tantrum at the moment. And he's getting pretty good at them. Like yesterday when he didn't want to leave the park and staged a 'sit in' in a big muddy puddle and it took the both of us to carry him home. Or when he didn't want to put down the three Peppa Pig bike bells he picked up in Halfords, despite us reminding us that a) he doesn't have a bike to put them on, and b) even if he did, just the one bell would be sufficient, and he did some good old fashioned kicking and screaming in the middle of the shop (this was also yesterday. Yesterday was tantrum day). So let's just say he's keeping us busy.

But then he keeps us busy in other ways too. Like when we sit in Arlo's reading corner and he gets down every book on the shelf, one by one, for me to read him, and we take our time looking at every page, me reading the words and asking Arlo to point out different things on each picture. Or when I'm hurriedly trying to do something like make dinner or check my work emails or load the dishwasher, and he comes and tugs at my trouser leg and holds his chubby hand up to take mine to lead me to his play kitchen and help him make a cup of tea with his play kettle, reminding me that everything else can just wait and it's good to stop and focus on the important stuff - like making a pretend cup of tea to feed to a stuffed lion. Or when we while away a good hour on youtube looking at videos of happy elephants which make him smile the biggest, brightest smiles, and I feel so grateful to be able to have days where elephant videos can happen and be the most important thing on our to do list and think how sad I'd feel to have to say to him "sorry I don't have time to watch that video of elephants dancing along to Happy by Pharrell" (this is an actual, real thing: you can watch it here if that kind of thing floats your boat. It definitely floats Arlo's because we've watched it around 27 times today already).

And when people say "I just don't know how I could ever love anyone as much as I love little Tallulah/ Oscar/ Penelope" (delete as appropriate) I know it doesn't work like that, and love's not a finite entity that you need to re-allocate when someone new comes into the picture because you just make more of it to go round and everyone fits in just fine. It's not that I'm worried about finding more love for another little person, or Arlo getting less love as a result, but I want to make sure I can still show that love. Give him that time. Be able to drop everything to help him out with his busy duplo-building schedule. Help him solve the mystery of where he hid the blue crayon. Be available for sitting on when he wants to watch cartoons. And I know that when and if we add another little squidge into the mix it will all work out and we'll fit everything in and our days will get a little more mental and even more happy, but we're not in a rush. We're enjoying the way it's going at the moment. These are the ways that I want to spend my days - elephants and all.

TV or not TV?

Arlo's concentration face (taken while watching Peppa Pig, obvs).

I bloody love TV. It's one of my favourite things and always has been. From being woken up at 6am by my little sister to go downstairs and watch cartoons, coming home from school and watching back to back shows from Byker Grove to Neighbours and everything in between, or the tears shed at the final ever SATC at uni, it's always been a part of my life. I probably watch less TV now than I ever have done, partly because I have less time these days than I used to, but also down to the fact that honestly I just don't think there's much good on the box at the moment. (But not for long: new Walking Dead series starts TOMORROW and I am EXCITED).

So. TV has always been a part of my life. But it's now creeping into Arlo's life and I'm not sure how I feel about it. We've always had certain TV rituals for Arlo at a certain time of day, like an episode of In The Night Garden before bed, or when he was very little a bit of Waybuloo to fall asleep to in the pushchair (I'm glad that little phase is over because Waybuloo is seriously weird/ very annoying). But lately he's asking for TV more and more, and letting me know the specific shows he wants to watch at any one time. And if I say no it's not pretty. Tantrums happen if Arlo doesn't get Raa Raa the Noisy Lion on demand. He's started picking up my laptop and making little snorting noises to let me know that it's Peppa Pig that he wants (it's pretty cute and in honesty I do find that tactic hard to resist).

I know this is can be a devisive parenting topic, but I don't think there's any harm in a bit of TV, as long as we're talking about kids watching kids programmes. These are shows that are designed to teach and entertain little eyes, and if they're having fun and you get 10 mins to have a cuppa, then that's win win in my book. In truth anything that involves a hot cup of tea for me is essentially a win. I also think TV has a unique calming experience (again, with the right show) that is bloody useful if you've got a grumpy toddler who's trashing the kitchen cupboards or throwing lego at your head or climbing the bookshelves. It can be absorbing and offer a bit of down time. And that counts for you too, obvs.

So TV will remain a part of our routine, but I think I need to make sure I'm the one reaching for the remote, and not the other way round. Just like all life's best things (e.g. Nutella, Prosecco, episodes of Breaking Bad) moderation is key. I'm just counting down the days until I can introduce Arlo to the good stuff - it won't be long until we're lolling along to the Simpsons together on the sofa, and then I won't mind how long we watch for.