Friday I'm in love... with hibernation

So it's definitely autumn. There were a number of clues this past weekend: It rained almost continuously. The heating was put on for the first time. We made a big pot of vegetable soup. I started to feel Christmassy.

I'm really pleased to welcome autumn. We had a weekend of hibernation last week - no plans and lots of time to spend together. We changed things around in Arlo's bedroom so it's all cosy and warm for him. Here's some of the things I want to make happen over the next few weeks: cosy reading nooks / blankets books and and tea / collecting for Xmas / fires in the wood burner.

The thing about weddings.

Image found here, via Pinterest, where else?

We went to a wedding last weekend. Spirits were high, everyone wore their prettiest dresses and shiniest shoes, the bride and groom were a happy and handsome couple, and Alex and I even got to have a baby free night of dancing and prosecco drinking as we had a babysitter. It was the best day.

Except. I lost count of the times someone asked me "so when are you getting married?" a close runner-up was "so when are you having another baby?" as if either of those things are a fait accompli. Because of course they aren't.

We share a mortgage. And a CHILD. A whole human being is reliant on the two of us looking after him to make sure he is able to stay alive and grow and be happy. Rest assured that's not something we chose to do lightly. We can't live without each other and have no intention of doing so for the rest of our lives. But somehow, I feel like people don't think we're "proper" if we're not married.

A response I got from one party-goer when I said we had no plans to was "How modern!" as if we were doing something really cutting edge. In truth, getting married just doesn't come very far up the list of priorities for either of us right now; we're not religious, we're busy, we're happy, and things don't really need to change in any way.

And it's not that I particularly mind being asked, but it's just... isn't it a bit rude to assume? "Do you think you'll ever get married?" is a lot different to "so when are you getting married?". People seem surprised when we say that we aren't even thinking about having another baby any time soon. Would everyone be so open about personal questions in other situations? Would it be OK to ask a single person at a wedding "aren't you ever getting married" or "so, do you not want to have kids?" Isn't this kind of stuff ultimately just up to us to decide? As Alex said the day after, it's like people assume that if you choose not to have a second child, it's because you're not that keen on the first one. How about we are basically taking each day as it comes because we're still figuring out this parenting stuff and we have enough to keep us busy right now?

What I've learnt: not to assume everyone wants to follow the same path. There's lots of different ways  to get through life, and agreeing to an (arguably) antiquated, Christian tradition where a woman has to promise to 'obey' her man (ok, ok, I know not all vows are like this these days, but the ones that are - I can't bear it!) for the sake of it, is not the only one.

Tell you what though, there is one true incentive to get hitched - the excuse to throw a massive party with all your favourite people in the world all in the same room just for you. That's a once in a lifetime experience, and every time I go to a wedding I feel so high on all the love that's flying around, it really is ace. So maybe we'll pretend we're getting married just so we can get all our mates over for a big party? Who knows. For now, it 'aint broke so nothing needs changing. Thanks for asking.

Friday I'm in love... with new walls please

As I've said before, I have a thing for white walls. They're clean and crisp, make a space feel lighter and brighter, they make your furniture pop and are very low maintenance. But lately I've been really hankering for some walls with a bit more going on, and I've been losing myself (and lots of time) on Pinterest looking at pictures of lovely wallpaper. I don't even think number five is technically wallpaper, I think they've just stuck lots of colourful tissue circles to their white wall. It's like constant confetti, how lovely is that?

You can find all of the above wonderful walls (and many more) here. 

Things I'm thankful for - the London edition

It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon and Arlo is sleeping. As I said in this post, he's not always the best sleeper, so a napping Arlo is definitely something to be thankful for. We're back from a trip to London and trying to get things back to normal, from sleep patterns to washing to food shopping and all those other boring things.

We had such a lovely trip and there's been so many things happening that I want to make sure I don't forget them before I move on to the next thing, so here's Things I'm Thankful for - the London edition:

• Weddings. God I love a good wedding. It's the best, happiest excuse for a party and it was wonderful to be at Alex's bro's wedding this weekend. AND I'm helping my sis plan hers, to much excitement.
• Confetti. How can you not be happy when there's confetti around?!
• Babysitters. Aex and I have had a night of manic dancing, dinner with friends, and a trip to the cinema all in the past week, because lovely people have looked after Arlo for us. 
• Being mega busy at work. Because it makes you truly appreciate the weekend, welcoming it like an old friend with open arms.
• Alex and Arlo's relationship. It's been getting stronger and stronger and it's so lovely to see them hanging out. Arlo doesn't need me all the time any more, and it's part and parcel of him getting bigger. That's both scary and amazing, and it's taking a bit of getting used to.
• TV. The good kind. I've always loved TV, but lately it's been so rubbish (apart from GBBO, obvs) and I've been hankering for something new. But now we've discovered True Detective - it's one of those series that's so good you text each other in the middle of the day just to say "I CAN'T WAIT FOR TONIGHT SO WE CAN WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE" (and yes you write it in caps because it's THAT good).
• Plus a miscellaneous list of other things that I have been thankful for this week: dim sum, wedding cake, Radio 6, disposable cameras, prosecco, picnics, friends, family.

Indian Summer

The first day of Autumn has officially been and gone, but it's still summer here on the Island. And we are determined to make the most of it. Arlo and his friend Isla had a play date on the beach last week, running round, playing with stones and exploring the beach huts (which included an attempted break-in, see picture four). They each took it in turns to follow the other around for a bit, with the one in front always looking back to check they were being followed. These two have been friends for (almost!) their whole lives and they play in the sweetest way.

Dear Summer, please stay around for a while so we can have more days like this one. Fondest, Poppy & Arlo xxx

Cousins

This is Arlo playing with his little cousin George. They both love stripes and have a habit of wearing the same outfits. Arlo is mad about him already.

This is Arlo playing with his little cousin Archie. Even though he's a year older than Archie, the way Arlo treats him - with soft squeezes and slobbery kisses anywhere on his face - is very gentle and makes me very proud. He tries to share his toys with Archie even though Archie's little hands aren't quite big enough to hold them yet.

Having never had cousins my own age, I'm so excited for Arlo to grow up with four (so far!) cousins that he can run around with, teach and learn from. They're all so close in age that it's really exciting to think of all the adventures they will have together. After being the youngest in most situations for so long, it's also really nice to see Arlo being the oldest, taking on a new role with his two newest cousins. So far he's good at sharing. Phew!

When we're out and about around town we often get stopped by other children waving into the pushchair and saying "hello Baby Arlo!" It's happened a couple of times this weekend and it makes me realise that he has a whole social life of his own going on at his childminder's, with some little friends that I haven't even met. He's not the youngest there anymore either, which is a bit of an eye-opener for me. When he first started going these he was so little - truly a baby still. He could only just sit up, and all his meals were milk. Milk that, in the early days at least, was expressed in train toilets and in-between client meetings while I was at work. (Proud to say I never had a leaky-boob-during-meeting situation, although it definitely got close).

Now he wolfs down three meals a day, has his own little circles of friends and family, and has learnt so much that he has things to teach others. He knows what noise a lion makes, and what noise a monkey makes. He can say "whaaaassssatt??" and point at things so he can learn new words, which he does about a hundred times a day. He's growing up. I miss him as a baby, but I'm also bloody excited to see more of him as a boy. Him and his little cousins too.

Busy doing nothing

So something really nice (and rare!) happened this week. Arlo and I went to meet friends at our favourite park. It's our favourite because a) a fun play park in its own right, and b) it's next to a place that serves a good coffee, which meets both of our basic needs. When we got there, Arlo was snoozing in his pushchair,  and our friends hadn't arrived yet. So I had nothing to do.

I had nothing to do. I can't remember the last time that happened. It was unexpected and really lovely. I sat on a bench, and looked out to sea, had a little ponder, that kind of thing. There's something about being near the sea that I find very reassuring. It's a constant. Usually, having a good old look out to sea helps remind me that 99% of everything in life is pretty insignificant and that 'living' really just boils down to a few basics that are really important (and brilliant).

Also, I've also been watching The Walking Dead every night this week and it also reminds me of this concept, but in a different (zombie apocalypse) kind of way. Both valid I think. Either way, I was very grateful for ten quiet minutes to spend doing nothing.